Director Cho's Retirement Dinner
by cumberland river relic
Summary: As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.
1. Chapter 1: The Assignment

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******The Assignement*******

"Agent Hawthorne. My office, now!"

Even though I had been at CBI for a year, I was still very much a junior agent, a "rookie" - and people were quick to let me know it. The word "rookie" always had a way of putting me in my place. I was still the one who searched the motor vehicle databases, tracked the money flows, or went to pick up the sandwiches on those days when a case kept everyone else at their desks. Even if it was only a mild form of hazing, I yearned to break out of my rut as the "new guy" - or in my case the "new gal" - of the team. That's why when the Boss called my name out, my mind flew off in a million directions at once. What was it? Catching a white-collar money launderer, reopening a cold case with some startling new information, or perhaps going undercover to bust a drug cartel?

"Agent Hawthorne? Agent Hawthorne? Abby? Are you there?"

"Sorry, Boss. I was distracted."

The Boss eyed me with that suspicious look she got when she talked with me sometimes. I hated that look, it was like she was evaluating whether I was really ready for the Serious Crimes Team or not. I had to quit daydreaming - my chance would come soon enough.

"I've got a special assignment for you."

My chance had come!

"Special assignment?"

"Yes. We'll wait for the Assistant Director in my office."

That really got my attention. I had never been in a small-scale meeting with the Assistant Director, known as the A.D. around the office, and had only exchanged limited conversation with him at all. He seemed like a nice enough person, and the Boss worked well with him but my mouth dried up from apprehension.

The A.D. soon joined us. You could see the Boss's cheerful confidence on her face as he went to the guest chair next to me and across the desk from the Boss.

"Agent Hawthorne, it's good to see you again," the A.D. said.

He took his seat while glancing at the Boss.

"I guess you're wondering what this is about?" asked the Boss.

"Yeah. Ur, yes, Boss. It's not every day that a junior agent gets called into a meeting with you and the Assistant Director."

"Grace - I mean Senior Agent Van Pelt - speaks highly of you. She says you're a good agent, and you also know how to handle yourself well with unusual situations," said the A.D.

There it was! As a trained agent I caught that "Grace" that Assistant Director Wayne Rigsby used to refer to the Boss. None of us on the team ever called her "Grace," and only rarely did any of us call her "Agent Van Pelt." To us she was simply, "Boss."

Sure, I had heard the rumors that the two of them had "a thing" for each other but I figured that was none of my business. You could still tell that they were good friends if nothing else.

"Thank you, sir. It's an honor and privilege to work for Agent Van Pelt."

Rigsby smiled.

"Grace, she reminds me of you when you started out."

"No, Wayne. She's better than that."

The A.D. and the Boss had just given me an ego boost better than a hundred commendation letters. Further, they let me into a higher level of connection with them than I had ever thought possible. For one thing, they used the names "Grace" and "Wayne" in my presence.

"Well, enough about that. Grace and I need a favor from you."

The word "favor" didn't sound anything like an undercover assignment but I was still game.

"Yes, sir. I would be glad to help you."

I heard the Boss laugh.

"Don't be so fast, Agent Hawthorne. You don't know what we might be getting you into."

"I trust you, Boss. You always look out for all of us on the team."

Suddenly a silence came over the room. Rigsby and the Boss eyed each other.

"She's definitely a keeper, Grace. You know how to spot and keep good talent."

I'd never seen the Boss react like she did at that moment. Her face turned bright red, almost matching her hair.

"Wayne, don't keep her in suspense." said the Boss.

"This favor that Grace and I need concerns Director Cho's retirement. You're aware that a number of dignitaries are coming for his dinner, aren't you?"

Who around the office didn't know that Kimball Cho's leaving CBI was a big deal? That had been the big news for weeks now, that Kimball Cho was becoming the new head of Homeland Security in Washington.

"Yes, sir. I saw a list the other day. Some pretty big names."

"We want you to host two of them while they're here," said the Boss.

"Grace, is host the right word for them?"

Something unspoken moved between the two of them, something not quite funny yet not quite serious.

"That's the reason I thought of Agent Hawthorne. She can handle uncertain situations well," said the Boss.

"Agent Hawthorne, you would need to devote two days to this assignment around and including the dinner itself. Can you do that?"

"Yessir."

"Good," said A.D. Rigsby.

"Agent Hawthorne, you haven't even asked who they are."

"A job is a job, Boss."

When I said that, Rigsby let out a loud guffaw. The Boss didn't laugh but she smiled.

"You may have some challenges," she said.

"You've had me work protective details before," I answered.

"But the question with this assignment is who you will be protecting from whom," said Rigsby.

Hearing that produced another loud guffaw, this time from the Boss.

"Agent Hawthorne, how familiar are you with Teresa Lisbon Jane and Patrick Jane?

When the Boss told me who the two people were, I almost jumped out of my chair. Cho's leaving and the dinner in his honor were big enough, but to have these two at the festivities took the occasion to a whole new level.

"So, you think they need a bodyguard?" I asked.

"Not really. I believe we took care of any such threats a long time ago." said Rigsby.

When he said that he and Boss smiled with obvious pride, the kind that you could see with any law enforcement agents when they reflected on a special success. All of us junior agents knew about how the Boss and the A.D. had been part of the team that broke the biggest serial killer cases in United States history. Teresa Lisbon had headed the team and Patrick Jane had served as a consultant. It had been a career-making case for everyone involved including them and Director Cho. The killer himself had not survived but finally rounding up all of his accomplices had taken months and good, solid police work. Everyone involved at CBI had been the toast of the state - and the nation. Lots of people said that was how Cho got to be in line for the Director's job and now for the Federal job, and rumors were running through the building that he would be bringing the Assistant Director and the Boss along with him to Washington after he himself settled in.

Under the reorganized CBI, there was the Director position and the A.D. position. Under them were the team leaders, of which my Boss was one. On paper all the team leaders were on the same level, but everyone knew that my Boss was the first among equals, the one who conferred the most with Cho and Rigsby. Around CBI people sometimes referred to Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt as "The Big Three." That added to Van Pelt's reputation as a good boss, one who attracted and kept the best talent. I considered myself fortunate to work for her.

"There certainly is a security element involved, Agent Hawthorne, but it's more of keeping an eye on the two of them." said the Boss.

"Well, one of them in particular." said Rigsby.

"I don't understand, sir."

The Boss reached over to the credenza behind her desk and picked up two different framed photos. Rigsby nodded his head and took the two photos from the Boss's hands.

"Grace and I aren't concerned about the Boss, er, I mean Teresa Jane. She was our team leader for many years, and she's a steady as a rock."

Whenever the Boss spoke of Teresa Lisbon Jane, it was with something approaching awe.

"We're just not sure which Patrick Jane is going to show up," said the Boss.

The Janes had both left CBI at the same time, and I gathered that their departure roughly coincided with their marriage. Kimball Cho had replaced Teresa Lisbon Jane as team leader and that started his ascent to the Director's job.

A.D. Rigsby handed me one of the photos. It was of Patrick and Teresa Jane with their son Charles. The three of them were seated on the floor of what looked like a living room. Their son was the focal point of the picture with one parent on each side of the child with their arms encircling each other. If the parents had not been celebrities, you would find nothing that stood out about them. They were just a cheerful-looking family.

"I made this picture when I visited them three months ago," the Boss said.

I remembered. The Boss rarely took time off, but after she had been injured during an arrest she took a week's vacation. We all suspected A.D. Rigsby had pressured her to do so. Only later did we find out that she had gone to see the Janes. She was still close friends with them, particularly Teresa.

"They look like a happy family." I said.

"They are, and in private life now Patrick Jane is, is, is..."

"...quieter," Rigsby said.

"...more low-key," the Boss said.

"...more boring," Rigsby said.

"Is there something that I should be uncomfortable about?" I asked.

Rigsby handed me the second picture and spoke.

"How Patrick Jane acts on their television show is more like the Jane we used to know when he worked here. More..."

"...flamboyant," the Boss said.

"...colorful," Rigsby said.

"...more likely to behave like an ass," the Boss said.

I looked at the picture. It was an autographed publicity photo for the two Janes' combination travelogue and reality show, _Patrick Jane Debunks! _In the photo Patrick Jane looked like a cross between a mad scientist and a revival preacher, holding his hands up as if to say "Eureka!" Beside him Teresa Jane had crossed her arms and was rolling her eyes. Written with two sets of handwriting, the inscription said:

"_To our good friend Grace Van Pelt,_

_Patrick 'Paddy' Jane and _

_Teresa 'the Lovely Lisbon' Jane"_

Because of the CBI connection, _Patrick Jane Debunks! _was a favorite show around the office. Every time someone got wind of the Boss going to visit the Janes, she got multiple requests to bring back autographs. While I enjoyed watching the show, I had thought it childish for otherwise mature adults to beg the Boss for some momento.

"I always thought they just acted larger than life for the purpose of the show." I said.

"We have no concerns about Teresa Jane. She and 'the Lovely Lisbon' are essentially the same person," said the Boss. "The question is whether Patrick or 'Paddy' will show up here. 'Paddy' is Jane's personality before he and Teresa married - his personality back when he worked with us."

I understood now.

"What does Mrs. Jane say about her husband coming?" I asked.

"She thinks he'll be fine, and she reminded me that she used to be his boss when they worked at

CBI. She controlled him...most of the time," said the Boss.

"...sometimes." said Rigsby.

"...occasionally." said the Boss.

"Grace, she'll have her hands full with both of them. So will you help us, Agent Hawthorne?"

"Yes, sir."

*******Author's Notes*******

Up next: Cho business!

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


	2. Chapter 2: Calvin who?

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******Preparing for the Guests and More About Kimball Cho*******

After the morning meeting, that afternoon the Boss brought some materials by my desk and sat down in the guest chair.

"Abby, I thought these things might help you prepare for our guests."

I looked through what the Boss brought over. At the top of the stack was a book, which I handed back to her.

"Boss, I've still got my copy from my academy days."

Teresa Lisbon Jane had literally written the book on hunting serial killers. _Ending the Reign of Terror: Closing the Red John Case _became a popular best-seller and also required reading in many law enforcement training programs, CBI's included. Her husband was listed as the second author but he made clear in public statements that his wife came up with the idea and wrote most of the book; Patrick Jane minimized his role. As it turned out, Teresa Jane with Patrick in tow had become a popular speaker at law enforcement workshops. While here in Sacramento, CBI had scheduled her for a session with the local agents.

But most of the materials the Boss brought had to do with the Janes' television show. There were more publicity photos, a press packet, and videos. Glancing over what the Boss brought I recognized a few of the more memorable episodes such as "Patrick Jane debunks...the Tuscaloosa dervish," "...the Syracuse wolfman," and "...the Austin anteater." Of course the last one turned out to be true, which "Paddy" admitted with a wink and a smile at the end of the episode. It turned out that he and "the Lovely Lisbon" had just wanted to visit Austin.

At the bottom of the stack was a file on their personal lives. In addition to the standard items you would find in such a file, the Boss had added a few things such as their wedding photo. However, the photo that got my greatest interest was one of the two Janes with their old team - Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt. Since it was an unposed shot, you got a feel for the relationships of the five in the photo. One thing came through loud and clear - Teresa Lisbon was their leader. The Boss had told me once that Teresa was not just her friend but her professional role model. I understood why.

Of all of The Big Three, most of us thought the Boss maintained the closest friendship with the Janes. The Boss told me once that it was only after they left CBI that she started to call Mrs. Jane by her first name. The way she said that implied that Cho and Rigsby still called Teresa Jane "Boss," which seemed funny to me. At least in terms of Kimball Cho.

Director Cho intimidated all of us junior agents and most veteran ones as well. He was a man of few words and cold stares. Robert Halsey was a fellow CBI agent, one who started at the same time as me and who got into trouble for mouthing off to a witness once. The witness filed a complaint and threatened to collapse the case just at the moment it was turning around. Robert ended up sitting across from the Director and the A.D. in a disciplinary meeting. Robert told me later that Cho said nothing until the end, letting Rigsby carry the conversation. Right at the conclusion though, it was Cho scared the crap out of him.

"Agent Halsey, never do that again to a witness who has volunteered to help us. You only have two chances with me and you used up one of them."

As soon as he left them, Robert ran to the restroom and retched up his breakfast. When he finally made it back to his desk, he realized that his suit was soaked with sticky, smelly fright-sweat. He told me later that Cho frightened him more than the armed bank robber who doubled back on him once during a foot chase.

"I never want to feel those eyes on me again. They were drilling straight into my soul."

Remarks like that just fed into the aura surrounding Cho.

Not long after I arrived at CBI some of the senior agents told me a story that summed up Cho. At a CBI dinner one of the agents found out that he would be sitting next Cho and bet a fellow agent $500 that he could get Cho to say more than two words. The other guy, someone who knew Cho too well, readily took the bet. When the time came to sit down to dinner, the agent drummed up a lively conversation with everyone sitting around him - everyone except Cho. At the end of the evening, the agent let his exasperation get the better of him and poured out his story of the bet to Director Cho. Cho only replied, "You lose."

Later it infuriated me to find out that someone had pulled a joke on me - the story wasn't from the life of Kimball Cho but rather from the life of a person named Calvin Coolidge, an early baseball star or musician or president or someone else famous. Still, the story described Cho's personality even if it wasn't true.

There was only one thing wrong with that image of Cho. On occasion I had gotten to see both the Assistant Director and the Boss interacting with Cho, and neither one of them was the least bit intimidated. To the contrary, one day I saw the three of them laughing - laughing! - and it turned out that they were reminiscing about our two incoming guests. Something about origami figures. Then the Boss started in on the Director about his bad back, and the A.D. joined in. They were merciless even when the Director tried to wave them off. The A.D. said something about the Director needing to get massage and the Director stormed off to his office. After the door slammed the A.D. and the Boss both laughed..

"Wayne, you shouldn't have done that."

"Why not? Someone's gotta put Cho in his place and Jane's not here to do it."

"But talking about a 'massage.' That's hitting close to home."

"Exactly, Grace!"

Man or myth, fact or fiction, people inside and outside the CBI had formed an image of Cho. And now the arrival of his two former colleagues would add another layer of intrigue to the person of Kimball Cho. To say nothing of Wayne Rigsby and Grace Van Pelt.

*******Author's Notes*******

Up next: Patrick and Teresa arrive in Sacramento.

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


	3. Chapter 3: An Omaha Mermaid?

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******Patrick and Teresa Jane Arrive*******

My eyelids drooped as I waited near the baggage claim area at the airport. The man next to me, holding up a sign for the "LexCon" conference, cleared his throat loudly enough to get my attention.

"Your sign is drooping. Don't do that. It makes a lousy first impression."

I was torn between thanking him and letting him know that as a CBI agent I had a pretty good handle on things without his help. Thinking back to what happened when Halsey had to endure the wrath of Cho, I chose the first option.

It was a good thing the man shook me out of my reverie. At the other end of the corridor there was a huge commotion. A body of people and equipment were moving as one in our direction. Lights, booms, and backpacks hung off people on the edge of the mass. Because of my CBI experience, I recognized them as a news crew. The crew had surrounded a couple making their way to the baggage conveyor next to where I was standing.

When I looked at the couple closely I recognized them as our guests - but they still looked very different from what I had seen in their photos and videos. Teresa Lisbon Jane was even more petite than I had imagined, yet you could see a quiet strength underneath the surface. No wonder the Boss told me that the woman's mere presence had intimidated her, Rigsby, and Cho when they first came to work for her.

If possible, Patrick Jane seemed even bigger than life. He moved around more than Teresa did, but the strange thing was even with all the movement he was constantly by her side. It was as if she were the sun and he were a planet in constant orbit around her. That image fit with what the Boss had told me: at CBI sometimes they would work apart during a case, but more often than not she said you would see him waiting for her in the bullpen or lounging on the couch in her office. As time passed the Boss said the Teresa and Patrick spent more and more time together until it got to the point the team thought something was amiss if they saw one without the other.

The pair each seemed to have a unique body characteristic. For Teresa, it was her eyes. They were a bright green that could burn a hole in a fog bank. For Patrick, it was his curly blond hair. I had seen some video of him in earlier days and he had his hair styled so well it would make a teen envious. While he still had a good head of hair, now it looked more like what you saw in that famous Albert Einstein photo. Some stray locks were sticking out every-which-way. But it struck me that he looked a lot happier now than in the old videos from before his marriage to Teresa.

After the news crew left, Patrick Jane was the first to spot me and my forlorn hand-printed "CBI" sign.

"Look, Teresa. Our chariot awaits. Or at least our charioteer."

"Patience, Patrick. You'll run her off before she even takes us into town. You must be Agent Abby Hawthorne."

"I am, ma'am. Welcome back to Sacramento."

"The last time that Grace visited she told Patrick and me how excited she had been to recruit you for her team."

I liked this woman! And I liked the Boss even more! I knew that my face must have blushed five shades of red.

While Teresa Jane and I had been exchanging greetings, Patrick Jane had stood quietly at his wife's side. The Boss had warned me that he could blurt out some analysis of me at any moment; she called it reading people. Did he see me tense up? Apparently there was no way you could hide something like that from him so I reminded myself to relax.

At last Patrick Jane spoke up.

"Teresa, you know who Agent Hawthorne reminds me of?"

The two exchanged knowing glances.

"Grace when she started in with us." Teresa replied.

"Exactly." Jane looked solely at me now. "No wonder Van Pelt was so excited when she told us about you. You're her clone!"

"Thank you, sir. I take that as a compliment."

I did take that as a high compliment. That was the second time I had been compared to the Boss. We collected their bags, got the car, and headed toward CBI for the afternoon.

*******At CBI*******

It was hard to keep secrets at CBI, and the details of the Janes' schedule were impossible to keep under wraps. When I drove the SUV into the parking lot, I noticed two agents milling around outside. When they saw me and got a glimpse of my passengers, they hurried back into the building.

After parking, the three of us headed for the building. Just as we got up to main entrance, a crowd of people spilled out under the awning.

"They see us, Teresa." Patrick said.

"They see you, Patrick. I'm just your sidekick."

Teresa was wrong about that. The crowd encircled us and as one they shouted out a familiar line.

"No we're not!"

Teresa's face dimpled.

To an onlooker unaware of who the guests were, the chant would have made no sense at all. Actually it annoyed me that my fellow agents did that but the Janes took it in stride. "No we're not!" was the popular catch-phrase from_ Patrick Jane Debunks_, and it wasn't "Paddy" who said it but instead "The Lovely Lisbon." She would utter that phrase several times during each episode when Paddy would announce some crazy scheme designed to debunk whatever local myth they had come across. Of course, they ended up doing the crazy scheme despite her protest. And it worked - most of the time. Once in a while the scheme would fail, like with _Patrick Jane Debunks the Omaha Mermaid_, and that would bring on a few "I-told-you-sos" from the Lovely Lisbon which a contrite Paddy would accept. In most episodes Paddy would do the final voiceover at the end, but with the _Omaha Mermaid _the Lovely Lisbon did. She began with "As Paddy eats crow..."

That conflict between the normal and the outlandish, between the straight-laced Lovely Lisbon and the wild man Paddy, made the show the hit that it was. People watched _Patrick Jane Debunks _for the interplay between the couple, not for the bizarre local myth they debunked. Their banter revealed two smart people who loved to match wits with each other. Those who obsessed over the show, like many around the office did, could quote whole passages of their favorite dialogue. While I never got to that point, I did indeed enjoy the playful back-and-forth between them. Perhaps because of my job, I had a natural tendency to "root" for the Lovely Lisbon.

Once inside CBI, the elevator door opened and out popped the Boss.

"Teresa, Jane!"

The Boss grabbed Teresa in a hug while at the same time she grasped Patrick's hand.

"Agent Hawthorne here calls you 'Boss'. That brought back some memories, although I was never one to call Teresa 'Boss'."

"Teresa will always be 'Boss' to me, Jane."

Patrick's cell phone rang, and he immediately answered it.

"Yeah, we haven't been in town long. We miss you too. Do you want to talk to Mommy?"

Patrick motioned for Teresa to take the phone.

"Hey, Charlie! What's up?" Teresa stepped away from the group.

"Is your son alright?"

"Yeah, I think he just wanted to check in with us. He's staying with Teresa's brother while we're here."

Teresa returned to the group while still on the phone.

"Love you too, Charlie. Here's your father. He wants to say the same thing."

"Love you too, Charlie."

Teresa had noticed that I had been looking at the two of them while they were on the phone.

"Patrick and I may hover over our son too much, but we both want him to know he is loved. Especially when we're separated from him."

The Boss motioned for our two guests and me to come with her on the elevator. When we got to the level with our offices and the elevator door opened, Teresa and Patrick both hesitated before walking out.

"A lot's changed Teresa."

"You couldn't expect it to be frozen in time."

Patrick's eyes scanned the room then settled on the corner.

"Well here's one thing that hasn't changed!"

Patrick's eyes got wider as he walked into the bullpen and made straight for the couch. Teresa rolled her eyes. Why did I get the impression that she did that constantly whether they were on their show or in their private lives?

"Some things never change, Teresa," the Boss said.

"I guess not," she replied.

"This feels exactly the same," Patrick said as he stretched out across the couch.

Teresa walked over and pinched his nose, prompting him to get up.

"Come on, Patrick. Let's make the rounds. Then we're going to the conference room for the lecture."

Patrick dutifully followed Teresa and us down the hallway. The Boss looked at the couple, and you knew she was eager to say something. She turned to me.

"Teresa never ceases to amaze me. She's got Jane trained so well now. It sure took a long time, but she did it."

Teresa got a mock-terrified look - at least I think it was a mock-terrified look and not the real thing.

"Don't jinx it, Grace! I've worked so hard, and I still have to keep him on a tight leash."

"Ladies, may I remind you that I'm a few steps behind you and am hearing everything you say."

"Why do you think we're talking so loud, Patrick?" Teresa said.

Now it was Patrick's turn to roll his eyes. As for me, it was hard to stifle a grin.

The Janes' lecture went well. Really it was mostly Teresa talking with Patrick sitting beside her. Occasionally he would stand to add something to what Teresa said, in particular about the mind of the criminal. The session went on for two hours, mostly due to the volume of questions the agents asked. At the conclusion, several of the senior agents crowded around Teresa to recount the old days. I quietly stood to the side and listened. After a few minutes, the Boss reappeared and looked at me with a stern expression.

"Where is Patrick Jane?" she asked.

Uh-oh. I had lost track of him. There was nothing I could say except one thing.

"On it, Boss."

While I was hurrying down the hallway towards the bullpen, I heard Patrick's voice coming from the kitchen. When I got to the kitchen, at first I couldn't see him for the crowd of junior agents that encircled him. Peeking over shoulders, at last I glimpsed him holding forth with a cup in his hand. According to the files that the Boss gave me, hot tea was his favorite drink. He must have come in to the kitchen to make some and the throng had gathered around him. I leaned into listen to what he was saying.

"...and so finally the head of custodial services threw up his hands and said that I could bring the pony upstairs but only if I used the freight elevator and carried a pooper-scooper with me the entire time it was in the building. What else could he say? I was standing in his office with an animal that had just knocked over his office lamp by swishing its tail. He wanted both of us out of his office. But just as soon as we stepped off the elevator up here on this floor, I found out that the pooper-scooper, while fine for a dog, was worse than useless for a pony. Thankfully, Rigsby found a shovel in the maintenance closet."

"Whoop!"

"Ha!"

"A-ha-ha-ha!"

Patrick had the crowd of junior agents in the palm of his hand. He certainly still knew how to work a crowd.

"So you had the Assistant Director clean up pony poop?" one of the agents asked.

"Well, he wasn't the A.D. at that time. But shoveling that stuff may have provided good training for his current job."

"Whoop!"

"Ha!"

"A-ha-ha-ha!"

No worse for the wear, I brought Patrick back to Teresa and the Boss after he told a few more stories for the crowd. From there I drove the Janes to their hotel with a promise to retrieve them in the morning for some sightseeing.

*******Author's Notes*******

Up next: What did ice cream have to do with Patrick Jane and Teresa Lisbon getting together? And how did they end up doing their television show?

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


	4. Chapter 4: One sundae, two spoons

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******Touring and Talking*******

The next day the Janes and I spent driving around familiar spots in Sacramento. A lot had changed since they were here, but some landmarks remained that they recognized. While we were idling at one traffic light, a bus pulled alongside us. The advertising panel on the side of the bus displayed the same _Patrick Jane Debunks _publicity photo that sat on the Boss's credenza. Patrick saw it, pointed it out to Teresa and me, and frowned.

"Ugh! I never liked that picture."

"But Patrick, I think it captures the real you."

You could tell Teresa was toying with him.

"I look like a madman, and you look like you could throttle me at any minute."

"I take back what I said. It captures the real **both of us**." Teresa winked at me.

I tried not to laugh, I really did. But of course I failed.

At noon we stopped for lunch at a diner that had apparently been a favorite of one or both of them. While we were eating, I brought up the television show again.

"How did you two end up doing the television show?"

"Teresa planted the idea," said Patrick.

"We were on a lecture tour associated with the book, and one day I came down with a head cold. Rather than cancel the appearance, Patrick took the lead that day."

"Which I preferred not to do. I had become quite happy simply being Teresa's husband and assistant."

"Patrick mesmerized the crowd that day. Or maybe he hypnotized the whole room. Either way he was a success. I saw that spark of enjoyment in his eyes."

"Teresa suggested that maybe I get back into some form of entertainment, but I had concerns. First, it didn't need to have anything to do with my old career as a psychic."

"We agreed on that," Teresa said.

"Second, I would want something that didn't take away from our family life."

"That's important to both of us," Teresa said.

"Third, whatever I did would be with Teresa. That's the only way I would feel comfortable; and besides, I had a hunch that the way she and I carry on with each other might appeal to an audience."

Teresa took over the explanation at that point.

"So we decided we'd do something together, and something we could have some control over."

"But the question then was what to do," Patrick said.

"So we analyzed what we as a team were good at. We'd worked all those years investigating crimes using observation, brainstorming, and logic to solve cases." Teresa said.

"Then I saw a news story in the local paper about an unidentified flying object."

"Just by reading the story, Patrick and I came up with three or four ideas about what really happened."

"On a lark, we asked the newspaper editor if he would pay us to investigate the story."

"He agreed, although the pay was a pittance. So we went and had our explanation in less than half a day."

"Everything clicked - the purpose, the process, and especially our working together," said Patrick.

"And that inspired the idea of the television show. What we do on the show is not a lot different from what we did here at CBI. Only at CBI the focus was on criminals; on the show the focus is on the local myth we encounter."

"Of course we ramp up the conversation between us."

"We've had years and years of practice, so that wasn't hard," said Teresa.

"And there's no one I'd rather argue with than my wife, whether she's Teresa or the Lovely Lisbon."

After eating, we returned to checking out the sights. Later, as we were weaving through the traffic around CBI headquarters, Patrick Jane suddenly yelled for me to park.

"I had forgotten! Pull over and park here. We've got to go in."

When I had shoe-horned the SUV into a parking place a size too small, the three of us got out with Patrick in the lead. Teresa followed close behind while I brought up the rear. We went to the open-air cafe.

"It's still here! Who wants ice cream?"

"I do! I do!" said Teresa.

The Janes shared that kind of intimate laugh that you see between couples. We got in line and I reached for some cash. Before I could pull out my pocketbook, Patrick stayed my hand.

"You're not paying. This is on Teresa and me."

They bought me my favorite, a banana split. But for themselves they got only one item, an extra large sundae with two spoons. As they ate their treat, they looked like a cross between an old married couple and a pair of love-struck teens.

During my time with them, my comfort level had increased ten-fold. An unasked question burned inside me, and at last I had the confidence to bring it up.

"How did you two end up together?"

"Do you want the long answer or the short one?" Patrick asked.

"What's the short answer?" I asked.

"The short answer is ice cream. The surest way to a woman's heart is through ice cream. At least it worked on Teresa."

"Patrick invited me here one day to share a sundae with him. We were sitting at this very table, eating exactly this kind of sundae, with the same view of the skyline in the background."

"That sounds romantic. What did you talk about?"

"Death mostly."

I shook my head. Just when I thought I had begun to understand these two, one of them would scramble all of my notions.

"Teresa, you make it sound so morbid. I myself recall it as upbeat."

Teresa rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Patrick."

"Regardless of what Teresa says now, she enjoyed it. I saw that light in her eyes and knew we had to come back here on a regular basis - no one else, just the two of us."

"So you fell in love with her right at this table?"

"No, I was smitten long before that."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well, that gets into the longer version. Let me turn the tables on you, young lady. Do you have someone special in your life?"

"I've been dating a guy in the SacPD for six months."

"Here's some unsolicited advice for you: the next time you're with him, close your eyes and feel his face while he smiles. Just the act of touching his face will make both of you smile."

At that point Patrick made an exaggerated expression of holding his eyes shut while lifting his hands to Teresa's face. As his fingers roamed across her face, the sides of her mouth curved upward and a girlish giggle spilled out of her mouth.

"So you were smitten when you felt her smile?"

"I was. An explosion had left me temporarily blinded, so I began paying more attention to my other senses. And I desparately wanted to feel Teresa's smile. But you know what she did? After touching her face, I next complimented her on the perfume she was wearing that day. Cinnamon as I recall. At that point she walked off and left me in the hallway. All alone. Like she had taken my vulnerable heart and squashed it on the floor for the night janitorial staff to wipe up like a wad of day-old chewing gum."

"Now you're overselling it, Patrick."

"But it's true!"

"We didn't declare our feelings for each other until a few months after we got that serial killer." Teresa said.

"It happened when I went behind Teresa's back and got in bit of trouble."

"You mean a lot of trouble."

"You say po-tA-to, I say po-taa-to. Anyway, the boys in hostage negotiation called me one morning while Teresa was at the dentist with a mouth full of cotton and novacane."

"If I had been in the CBI building I would never have let Patrick do that crazy stunt he did."

"Anyway, the hostage negotiation team called me to see if I could go in and hypnotize two armed robbers at a bank. They were holding seven people as hostages."

"It was a stupid, stupid move." Teresa said. You could tell that even after all this time, the incident upset her.

"What can I say? I was bored and you weren't around. Anyway, I went in and it turned out that while the stooge bank robber was an easy mark, the head robber was immune to any power of suggestion. On top of that, he realized what I had done to his partner. I ended up being his human shield with a shotgun jammed up against my back."

"What happened?"

"By the time the robber and I were walking out of the bank, Teresa had arrived."

"At the dentist office they had stuffed my mouth full of cotton balls and had given me shot of novacane but had not yet started the procedure. Then Cho called and told me what Patrick had gotten into. I jumped out of the chair - the dentist had his tools in his hand ready to go to work - and I ran over to the bank. Still with a cotton-ball-filled mouth. It turned out the bank was only two blocks from the dentist office."

"That was a crucial element of the story, dear."

"The first thing I did when I got there was go into the command post to give the idiots in charge a piece of my mind."

"I was wearing an earpiece during all of that so I got to hear everything she said. Or everything she tried to say. I could only recognize her voice. No words, just jumbled sounds."

"Half my mouth was numb, and I was in such a rush that I hadn't even gotten the cotton balls out. No one could understand what I was saying. Then we heard a loud 'pop' through the audio equipment in the command center."

"The robber was carrying a satchel with the money in it. There was also a dye bomb in it that malfunctioned and exploded. It knocked both the robber and me to the ground and left us covered from head to toe in red dye. Thankfully the SWAT team jumped in and pinned the robber down. Aside from a bruised thigh I was no worse for the wear, but then I heard a deafening scream ring through my earpiece."

"I just knew something terrible had happened to Patrick and I ran over to him laying on the ground."

"Teresa saw me covered in what she thought was blood and started to cry. Tempted as I was to milk the situation for all it was worth, my conscience got the better of me and I said, 'It's dye, not blood, my love.'"

"When I heard him say 'my love,' I couldn't control myself any longer. I knelt beside him and tried to say what I felt."

"Which came out 'ehhhhhhh weeeev urrrrr.'" Patrick said.

"Patrick knew what I was trying to say."

"Yes, but I wanted to hear those three little words - clearly."

"So I tried again."

"And again it came out 'ehhhhhhh weeeev urrrrr.' I started to laugh which only made Teresa more frustrated."

"So I pointed to my mouth to show him it was full of novacane and cotton. Then I started pulling the cotton out of my mouth."

"And I started laughing more."

"When I finally got the cotton out, the novacane still affected me but I was determined to get the words out. I'd had enough of Patrick and me dancing around the issue for years. Then I said it again - clearly enough that even Patrick understood."

"Actually, your first words without the cotton in your mouth were 'Ah, sheep dip!' but then the next ones were 'I love you.'"

"Then I kissed him."

"Our first kiss, believe it or not, after all our years together."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"The only thing that made sense at that point. I said 'I love you' back - and then I grabbed her ass."

"That was the second time he had grabbed my ass. The first time was when he had amnesia and I told him about it after he recovered. He seemed to think that grabbing my ass would lighten the mood at the hostage scene."

"And coincidentally, that was also the second time she punched me in the nose."

"But it was with love, Patrick...OK, I was mad at you for getting involved in such a hair-brained scheme."

"Whatever you say, my dear."

"What did you do?" I asked again.

"Again, the only thing that made sense at that point. I pulled her to me for another kiss - our second kiss. It also had the advantage of making her unclench her fist."

"From there, things moved quickly." Teresa said.

"Yes, we had to get Teresa back to the dentist as quickly as possible."

She swatted her husband on the shoulder.

"You ruin our memories."

"But your dental work was important!"

"He insisted on going back with me to the dentist office. After they finished working on me, he took me home and wouldn't leave."

"Saint Teresa had always been my guardian angel. Now it was my turn to be hers. I ministered to her and kept showing her card tricks to distract from the pain."

Teresa placed her hand across Patrick's arm.

"And he stayed - and stayed and stayed and stayed."

"I wore her down."

"He wore me out. It took a day to recover from the dental work, and three days to return to the office."

The two of them exchanged looks that I wasn't sure would ever approach being appropriate in a public setting. Was there ever a normal moment with these two?

"It ended up that I wasn't a guardian angel and she wasn't Saint Teresa," Patrick said as he shrugged his shoulders.

In a few minutes I drove the Janes back to their hotel so they could get ready for the dinner.

*******Author's Notes*******

Up next: Of emeralds and watches.

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


	5. Chapter 5: Emerald eyes

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******Green Emeralds and Eyes*******

After taking a short break myself to go back to my apartment to change, I returned to the Janes' hotel suite. Patrick let me in.

"Teresa will be out in a few moments, have a seat."

Patrick and I waited while Teresa finshed getting ready in the bathroom. When the door opened, she had transformed from a daytime tourist into an elegant lady-about-town. To complement her outfit she was wearing a stunning emerald necklace and matching earrings.

"Sigh."

I glanced over at Patrick and he was staring at Teresa as if he had seen her for the first time.

"Those are beautiful emeralds." I said.

When he heard that Patrick said, "The emeralds by themselves are pretty. What makes them beautiful are Teresa's eyes."

"I'm so glad you talked me into keeping them."

Patrick turned to me.

"I had once tried to give the necklace to her but she returned it. Nothing untoward for our Teresa Lisbon or some such nonsense. Luckily I'm not one to take 'no' for an answer so I hung onto them - for over four years."

"Now I appreciate Patrick's faith in me changing my mind." Teresa said.

"By the way, because Teresa finally accepted her jewelry your boss was able to keep something as well. Van Pelt always did follow Teresa's lead. That's what you are Teresa, a role model for us all."

Teresa rolled her eyes - how many times had I seen that over the past two days? - and we exited the room and went to the banquet hall.

*******Director Cho's Retirement Dinner*******

Like all the other agents in the room, I couldn't help myself and let out a gasp. Who knew that Kimball Cho was married? Well apparently our guests, the Assistant Director, and the Boss knew because they were simply nodding their heads.

"So no one here knew about that?"

"No, but obviously you all did."

"Cho doesn't talk much."

Well that was obvious.

After a few minutes and several short conversations, the Janes, the Boss, and I made our way to our table near the front. The table was placed to provide the Janes with easy access to the dais when the time came for their part of the program.

The Janes were listed first on the program to make remarks. When introduced, the two went to the dais together. Patrick approached the microphone first.

"Teresa will speak for both of us. I'm just happy to be here to help honor our friend Kimball Cho."

He stepped aside to let Teresa Jane come to the microphone.

The Boss leaned over and whispered to me.

"Jane really has changed. None of us on the old team would have ever thought that."

As if on cue, A.D. Rigsby, who was the Master of Ceremonies, glanced over at us. His expression communicated the same wonderment at how - mature? sober? circumspect? - Patrick Jane was up front.

Teresa began her remarks which were short, direct, and uplifting.

"...has been called Agent, Team Leader, Director. Kimball Cho has gone by many titles since we have known him. But one word has stayed with him throughout his career. That word is success. Patrick and I applaud our friend's achievements and wish him continued success in Washington."

The audience applauded loudly as Teresa hugged Director Cho and Patrick shook his hand.

Teresa's remarks to Director Cho turned out to be the highpoint among the speakers. Ever since her appearance the evening had gone down hill. Speaker after hack speaker had increased the tedium and decreased the festiveness. After a while you could tell that no one was listening to any of the speakers drone on. My two guests had been among the first to mentally check out of the speeches.

"Hey, Teresa. This isn't what we came all the way to Sacramento to be part of."

I could see her tense up.

"Patrick, it won't go on too much longer."

"But this isn't the way to celebrate Kimball Cho."

"Patrick..."

"According to the program, this latest stiff guy talking up front right now is the last speaker on the list. I'm gonna make sure Cho remembers this night fondly."

"Patrick! Don't!" said Teresa.

It was too late. As the tepid applause greeted the end of the last speaker's remarks, Patrick strode toward the dais with a bad-boy smile stretched across his face. I looked over to Teresa. How could someone simultaneously have an expression of both dread and anticipation on her face? After seeing the two of them in action, I decided that this was nothing new.

Patrick had made his way to the microphone and in the process had attracted the attention of the whole crowd. A.D. Rigsby backed away from the microphone, and he had that same expression on his face that Teresa had. For that matter so did Director Cho and the Boss. It was like all four of them had been down this road before.

"Rigsby, before you call it a night, I just had to come up. My lady did her usual fine job and she represented both of our feelings well, but I've got a question for you and Cho. You two are wearing the two ugliest watches that I've ever seen any human beings dare to be seen with in public. No, really. They have to be expensive to be that ugly. What I want to know is, where did you sons of bitches get those awful things?"

The room, full of suits, tuxedos, and evening gowns, was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was looking from Cho to Rigsby to Patrick and wondering how to react. Then I heard it - two loud guffaws coming from Van Pelt and Teresa. Upfront Rigsby started laughing too and Cho smiled. Cho smiled!

Then even though I had experienced quite a bit over the last two days, I saw the most amazing thing I'd seen while at CBI.

Director Cho jumped up from his chair and grabbed Rigsby and Patrick each with one hand and pulled all three of them into a man-hug. With that the whole room erupted into a combination of laughter and applause.

Even over the din I heard Patrick's voice clear as a bell. "I've missed you guys so much!"

And they wouldn't let go of each other. Then out of the corner of my eye I noticed Teresa and Van Pelt simultaneously run up behind the dais. The men opened up space for them and then the five all closed together in an even bigger hug.

Finally someone had the good sense to get the five to line up facing the crowd for a picture. As they stood arm-in-arm there wasn't a dry eye among them.

I could only dream of one day having friends like them.

At last order was restored and A.D. Rigsby concluded the official portion of the evening. As soon as he stepped away from the dais, the crowd engulfed the five and wouldn't let them move for what seemed like forever.

Eventually, Patrick and Teresa made their way back to our table. Even as exhausted as they were, you could tell both were on an emotional high..

Since my time with the two had drawn to a close, I wanted to say something to Teresa.

"Mrs. Jane, it has been the greatest pleasure of my career to spend time with you and your husband. I'll never forget you or these last two days."

She put her hand on my arm and gave me that dimpled smile of hers.

"We're Patrick and Teresa, not Mr. and Mrs. Jane. Does that sound all right?"

"It does. Thank you, Teresa."

*******Author's Notes*******

There is one more installment - an "extra." Thank you to all who have read, followed, favorited, and reviewed the story. I very much appreciate your interest.

Up next: Bonus epilogue! A special preview of the next _Patrick Jane Debunks..._

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


	6. Chapter 6: Patrick Jane Debunks

**Director Cho's Retirement Dinner**

Summary:

As CBI Director Kimball Cho prepares to move to a new job, a young agent plays host to two special guests who come to visit for his retirement dinner. The story takes place at some point in the future.

*******Author's Notes*******

I do not own the TV show _The Mentalist_. This story is written purely for entertainment purposes only. I get no compensation from it.

California Bureau of Investigation (CBI) Agent Abby Hawthorne receives the assignment to host the two most famous alumni of the Bureau when they come to attend Director Cho's retirement dinner. Agent Hawthorne narrates the story.

*******A Special Edition of**_** Patrick Jane Debunks**_*********

Two weeks after the Janes left our team was snowed under with work. Everyone including the Boss had put in grueling hours trying to crack our latest case. One aspect of the case was a series of complex money transactions tied to the murder. The Boss had assigned me to track down the offshore accounts where the killer had hidden money. Late in the afternoon I discovered a connection in timing between withdrawals and deposits. It was the detail that could finally crack the case, so I immediately went to see the Boss.

I found her and A.D. Rigsby sitting at her desk looking at her computer screen. They were not merely laughing, the Boss was bent over holding her sides and Rigsby was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. It took a few moments for them to get themselves under control.

"Boss, I think I found the financial connection. We can know for certain when the financial records get sent to me in the morning."

"Good work, Abby."

"Good work, indeed." A.D. Rigsby added. Because of the scope of the investigation he had become involved in the case as well.

Hearing those simple words from the two of them made all those hours on the phone, writing emails, and staring at spreadsheets worthwhile.

The Boss and Rigsby got up from their chairs, and Rigsby slipped on his jacket.

"Let's head out, Grace."

"You need a breather, Abby. Wayne and I are going to dinner. Come sit at my desk and take a look at this. The Janes have really outdone themselves this time."

The two of them left and I shifted over to the Boss's chair. Pulled up on one screen was a video of a new _Patrick Jane Debunks_ episode. On her other screen was a message from Teresa Jane to the Boss:

"_Grace - We thought you might enjoy seeing our next episode before it premieres. It just came out of post-production. Just don't tell anyone where you got it. Or if you do, say it was 'Paddy' that leaked the video! - Teresa"_

I sat down and scrolled through the video.

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

Closed captioning: On.

Announcer: "And now, _Patrick Jane Debunks!_"

Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are sitting on a park bench facing the camera in interview-style fashion.

Paddy: "The Lovely Lisbon and I are always enjoying climbing through wasp nests, getting chased by bears, and falling through floors of abandoned houses all across the United States..."

The Lovely Lisbon: "Speak for yourself, Paddy.!"

Paddy: "...As I was saying, we enjoy our adventures all across the United States. My favorite adventure was our visit to Minnesota to debunk the Madison marsupial. You do not get a marsupial merely by tying a miniature apron around a racoon."

The Lovely Lisbon: "My favorite is always whatever the last one was that we finished without mishap."

Paddy: "But for this special edition of _Patrick Jane Debunks! _we are attempting our biggest challenge to date. We're going to the Himalayas to debunk one of mankind's greatest myths, the myth of the Abominable Snowman!"

The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

Paddy: "Well, here we are in the beautiful Himalayas, home to the tallest mountain peaks in the world."

The Lovely Lisbon: "It's beautiful. I hope we get some good pictures."

Paddy: "But I'll tell you one thing we won't get a picture of."

LL: "What's that?"

Paddy: "The Abominable Snowman, of course. Because he is simply a myth."

The Lovely Lisbon: "We agree on that, Paddy."

Paddy: "And to prove our point, we're going straight into the Abominable Snowman's supposed lair. 17,000 feet up that mountain range over there."

The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon, both in parkas, stand beside a snow drift, elevation 17,278 feet.

Paddy: "...So LL, tell me what you're feeling now."

The Lovely Lisbon: "Cold, Paddy. Very cold. And oxygen-deprived."

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are surrounded by stacks of electronic and mountaineering equipment.

Paddy looking at the camera: "You know, my lady sometimes gets exasperated with me."

The Lovely Lisbon: "Getting there now, Paddy."

Paddy: "Not to worry, LL. Using this equipment we will soon have the proof we need that the Abominable Snowman does not exist."

Paddy puts on a pair of large headphones to test the sound quality.

The Lovely Lisbon: "I hope so."

Paddy: "What did you say?"

The Lovely Lisbon speaking louder: "I hope so."

Paddy: "What did you say?"

Paddy takes off his headphones while the Lovely Lisbon isn't looking.

The Lovely Lisbon now yelling: "I said, I-hope-so."

Paddy: "You don't have to yell, LL. I took the headphones off."

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

The Lovely Lisbon is walking beside a large bank of snow.

The Lovely Lisbon: "Paddy, where are you?"

Paddy: "Over here, my dear."

The Lovely Lisbon: "Where?"

Paddy: "Buried under this snow."

The Lovely Lisbon: "How did that happen?"

Paddy: "I would suppose it was the avalanche."

The Lovely Lisbon: "You mean the one you started. On purpose."

Paddy: "But for a worthy cause, LL."

A crew begins to dig Paddy out of the snow.

The Lovely Lisbon: "Was it worth an avalanche, Paddy?"

Paddy: "You didn't see the Abominable Snowman come running out when the avalanche started, did you?"

The Lovely Lisbon: "No."

Paddy: "I rest my case."

_**Forward-Forward-Forward-Forward.**_

Paddy and the Lovely Lisbon are sitting on the park bench back home again.

Paddy: "Well my Lovely Lisbon, what did you think of our excursion to the top of world?"

The Lovely Lisbon: "I'm glad we're home safe and sound."

Paddy: "Well, don't get too comfortable, LL, because we're heading out again soon."

The Lovely Lisbon: "We are?"

Paddy: "Why yes, LL. We'll be jetting to the British Isles, Scotland to be precise."

The Lovely Lisbon: "That sounds like fun, Paddy."

Paddy: "Think of all the history, the people, the culture we'll see."

The Lovely Lisbon crosses her arms: "OK, Paddy, what's the catch?"

Paddy: "The catch? Oh, you mean our next project. Yes, after our success with debunking the Abominable Snowman..."

The Lovely Lisbon: "Success?"

Paddy: "Yes, LL. After our success with debunking the Abominable Snowman we're going to turn our attention to that famous water-borne creature, Nessie herself, the Loch Ness Monster!"

The Lovely Lisbon: "No we're not!"

Paddy: "Ladies and gentlemen, you've been a wonderful audience. Until next time, the Lovely Lisbon and I bid you adieu."

Paddy bows to the camera in the manner of a Shakespearean actor. The Lovely Lisbon rolls her eyes.

End video.

*******The End*******

*******Author's Notes*******

Thank you to everyone who read, followed, favorited, and reviewed the story!

Reviews are welcome and appreciated. I look forward to hearing from you!


End file.
